Overwhelmed...

Friday morning Louise and I went to collect our daughter!

Everything we’ve longed for, for so long a time, has now become a reality in our lives - I'm a dad, Louise is a mum; we have a daughter! 

Abigail is the most amazing little girl. She’s a tiny little one, and has the most beautiful eyes. Every time I look at her, it feels like my heart just gets bigger and bigger, and fills with more and more love for her.

People have told me, that nothing can compare to the moment when you become a dad, and you hold your baby in your arms for the first time! Holding this little person, who just gazes up at me, wow – wow, wow, wow,wow!! There is nothing better! I'm loving being Abigail’s dad!

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As I write this post, Abigail sleeps; the sound of her breathing, her little whimpers remind me of just how lucky I am – And what an amazing blessing God has given me.

I've had a whole load of firsts; first nappy change, first burping session, first, rock the baby to sleep, first dress a little baby  – wonderful, every moment of it is wonderful!

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Saturday was our first full day with Abigail, and already, we can see that she is taking to us, and feeling more and more comfortable in her new home. It felt like a strange day in some ways; Abby has the usual every four hour feed cycle, so you just do everything around that cycle. Part of the day included a special moment for one Granny and one Omar; Abby met my mum and Louise’s mom for the first time; think it's safe to say, they're hooked! More such first time meetings will be happening real soon.

Everyone who meets her falls under the spell of her awesomeness! How could you not!

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We already love you very much Abigail; and we feel so blessed, that our amazing God choose us to be your family!!

 

Today is to be a special day!

Why a special day?

Today, is the day Louise and I meet our daughter, for the very first time!!

These past weeks have been quite tuff for us; we've had highs and lows; concerns over resident VISA's, questions about all kinds of things. However, in these past few days everything has taken off!

Taken off from our social worker telling us all about a precious little child, to God waking me up in the middle of the night with her name!

All of this reaches its climax today; we're going to meet her; we're going to meet Abigail!

I need to pause! Still can't believe it’s all finally happening!

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So, yesterday afternoon, I was out and about purchasing nappies and baby formula! Essentials for my DAUGHTER!! The first of many such shopping trips, I'm sure! Have you ever stood at a supermarket checkout and felt proud to be buying nappies!! I wanted the world to notice me!!

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Now the fun begins - oh heck, I'm a complete novice! Thank you Lord for YouTube! Louise returned home last night to find me in class, learning some of the basics about taking care of a little person!

Don't laugh, I'm just starting down this road; I've never even changed a nappy in my life!

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And so the fun begins!

Home visit day...

Today is the day! The day for our home visit by the social worker!

Both Louise & I have been very busy getting our home JUst-right; it’s amazing how many black bags of, what is now rubbish, we’ve filled! (If you’ve not touched it in ten years, you can live without it!!). Looks like I’ve got a trip to the dump one day this week!

We haven’t only been getting our home ready for the SW; we’ve been getting it ready for our soon to be child! The room dedicated to our little one looks great already; actually the room, our home, and our garden look great! (If I was a child, I’d live here!)

As we wait, it’s amazing how at peace I feel! That’s not normal for me! I can certainly be a bit of a worrier when it comes to stuff like this! But not today; PEACE!

I’ll take this opportunity to thank everyone who have been praying for us, and sending us messages of support! It’s awesome to have you all in our lives – we both feel your excitement for us, at the prospect of us adopting a child.

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Our SW seems to be running quite a bit late (we just spoke to her on the phone – she got a bit lost in J’bay, shame man!!); but anyway, here she is - more later.

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Home visit all done.

It didn’t exactly go how we were expecting! We worked on our home thinking that she would inspect the whole place! That wasn’t to be! 

We all had a cuppa together, talked, laughed and that was about it! 

Actually she chatted with us for quite a long time really. I think she was trying to get a real sense of who we are; probably putting a face to what we said about ourselves on our application form. She asked Louise about her history, from being a child up to today (something Louise clearly struggled with; shame, her memory!!). Then it was my turn; questions about what I first saw in Louise; what jobs I’d done, my education and so on, (the education bit didn’t take long!!). After that she met our cats, had a look at the garden, and it was all over (probably, the garden sold it!!).

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Our SW isn’t the kind of lady that gives to much away, and we’ve been told that she won’t give hope that may cause people to get carried away with things. It’s right for her to be like that. The SW is happy with us, and now we want her to listen to God, and allow Him to direct her to the child that He plans for us to adopt.

And so, the visit has happed, and the waiting for our special arrival begins!

Four or five times a day!!

https://youtu.be/owYBbnvp3Js

Baby baby, where are you?

My first post in quite some time!

The problem with openly sharing our progress towards adoption, both face to face with people AND via a blog, is that when things don't seem to be moving, one kind of gets tired of saying it!!

Over the past months, it's felt like nothing has been happening. We did all of what we could with our application, the rest was about waiting for other people to do there bit; namely issue our police clearance and the dreaded FORM 30!

I'm very pleased to say, that all the paperwork involved for this part of the adoption is done, and has been submitted!

Along the wait, I've been excited to hear that my local barber has successfully adopted a child; he’s was a closed adoption, which is quite different to ours, (he knows the child's biological parents basically). Hearing his news, though exciting, left me feeling a little frustrated and asking, “well Lord, what about us!”

At one point in the wait, after the submission of our adoption profile, our social worker told us that things may happen towards the end of June and sometime before the end of 2016. Okay, so we can accept that, but really, we thought it would all happen quicker!!

All the way along the wait, I've been telling myself that “God’s timing is prefect”! I certainly agree with that, though waiting hasn't been easy!

Crazy thing is, the wait should have given me more time to get my head around the fact that God wants me to be a dad, a dad to an adopted child! 

I sit here today, writing this post and have to admit, that I've not really got my head around it yet! Not to say that I'm in any way having second thoughts! I guess it's just part of me being a work in progress!

Anyway, let me update you with the current state of affairs!! Drum roll please!! 

Our progress has brought us to the stage of the home visit. Our SW will be visiting us on Monday 16th May. We’ve been led to believe, from those whom we’ve spoken too, that things could happen quite quickly after this visit! EXCITEMENT DANCE!!

Are we ready; some may say probably not! By that I mean, we haven't got all the baby stuff in place! But we do know what we’re going to need to get us off the ground, so to speak! The plan really, is not to be to presumptuous and buy everything before we’ve formally been told the adoption is happening, and for me to hit the road moments before a baby arrives, and get everything! Thank you Lord for my bakkie!!

Is anyone really ready for the arrival of a baby, I have to ask!

Moving on!

I've just returned from one of my regular walks; while walking around I've been speaking to God about my baby. Has he or she been born yet, what's the baby going to be like? What kind of dad am I going to be!! Questions that God has shown me plenty of patience as I've asked Him! Don't worry, I've not only been hitting God with questions, I've been praying for my child, praying for the biological parents, and praying for the future (that I'll be a good dad and so on!).

Along the way I've been guarding my heart while we wait, but I have to say, I'm certainly getting excited now! I've been working hard to get myself fit (I want to be able to play with my child); I've been working on our home (making room for a little person); I've been working on the garden (trying to make sure it's safe, and all my spiky cacti are well out of the reach of little hands

Okay folks,I guess that's it for now; I'll share more after our home visit. Bye for now!

First meeting with the social worker...

Our first face to face with our chosen social worker went really really well. 

Sadly, I was quite sick and probably looked like a zombie on steroids! But the meeting itself was great!

Our social worker is someone who has a clear God given call upon her life, to do the work she does. It was so refreshing for Louise & I to see her heart, and how committed she is to those she serves.

Some of the advice, and their was plenty of really helpful stuff, was to be careful with sharing names and identifying details on social media. This may sound a bit restrictive, but its a good safeguard to have in place. When a child is placed and legally adopted, their have been cases where members of the biological family have later tried to make inappropriate contact. This can cause a whole load of unnecessary heartache! And so, going forward, I will not be mentioning our social workers (SW) name, or anything else that could later open up any possible problems.

Back to the interview/meeting; our SW started by sharing all about herself and her commitment, first to the children, then to all parties involved. This was peppered with some really practical advice about when and how to share with your child, that she or he is adopted. Things were shared, that when applied, can make such a patently challenging step, almost natural, and very much part of the family journey. I won't detail it all now, because I’m sure that, as I continue to blog, I'll be talking about how this is all working out with our child to be!

After the initial sharing, Louise and I shared a bit about ourselves, in particular how we feel open to a child of any gender. It's strange, some days I think a boy would be nice, other days a girl! If we were going to be blessed with a biological child, we would prefer not to know the gender until the baby is born. We’re going into this adoption with the same mind; we’ll wait to see what God blesses us with!

After much chat, we all turned to more of the business side of things. Our SW told us about how things work for the biological parents of adoptive children, the, what was aptly named, “the cooling off period”! Basically, that means a baby can’t be adopted before 60 days after birth, 90 days in some case, if there are issues with contacting the biological father.

Listening to some of what the biological mom’s have to go through, particularly if they became pregnant through no fault or choice of their own, was hard going. Louise and I felt heart sore for such women. Adoption is often a real hope story, but there is also often a lot of pain involved.

The business side of things included a walk through of the application form, possible expenses, and so on. Again, all really helpful. 

There is a lot of work involved in the legal side of the adoption, much of which will be completed by our SW.

Our SW then spoke to us about preparing an “adoption profile book”. She showed us some examples from other parents of whom she has placed children with. This is something that biological parents can look at when they think about who, and what adoptive parents will be the best for their child's future. This book returns to the adoptive parents, and will be something that can later be added too, and then shared with the child in its future. 

Coming to the close of the interview/meeting, we made it known to our SW that we want to proceed; she will send out the necessary application form and other documentation that needs to be completed by us.

This, I have to say looks somewhat daunting, as it involves parties outside of Louise and myself; parties that aren't known for being quick at what they do! Enough said on that – just pray please, that every party will do their bit in good time! We know that God’s timing is perfect, and He will bring things about perfectly!

Returning home, both Louise and I felt complete peace about proceeding with our SW, and obviously, with going forward with adoption. We discussed what kind of age group best suits us, the age of the child that is. We agreed that birth to 1 year old would be right.

Don’t laugh, but we’ve even started talking baby names!!

I'll post more, if I remember other details, and if not; when I have more news!

Thanks for following us on our journey!

Poor timing

Today we have our first interview with the social worker. But from lunchtime yesterday (Thursday), I've been coming down with a pretty nasty bout of flu!

Not the best timing to say the least!

I'm dosing myself up with med's, and we're still going through!

Will post updates later, hopefully!

Meeting the social worker for the first time...

So, this morning Louise finally managed to speak to our social worker, over the phone; we've both tried, but clearly she is crazy busy.

We have our first appointment booked for the 27th of November, at 11am. Apparently this meeting can last for something like three hours!

Obviously, this is going to be like some kind of adoption assessment interview, maybe the first of many!

Keep us in your prayers please. 

I'll post more information as and when I have it.

😎👍

Where do we take our frustrations?

I'm reading through some of the stories that make up the Old Testament. At present, those stories are about God's people in the dessert; they've just come out of Egypt and are travelling to worship God and in time, make it to the Promised Land!

Very familiar stories to many of us, I'm sure! But something stood out afresh for me today:

"What do we do with our frustrations"?

Let me set the scene; God did some pretty massive things in Egypt that not only rocked the Egyptians world, but would have left Israel, God's people, with no doubt as to who is running the show; the God of Israel is Sovereign, and is the one true God!

Take a look at this from their travels:

“The Israelites left the western Sinai desert. They traveled all together from place to place as the Lord commanded. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink. So they turned against Moses and started arguing with him. They said, “Give us water to drink.” Moses said to them, “Why have you turned against me? Why are you testing the Lord?” But the people were very thirsty, so they continued complaining to Moses. They said, “Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Did you bring us out here so that we, our children, and our cattle will all die without water?” So Moses cried to the Lord, “What can I do with these people? They are ready to kill me.” The Lord said to Moses, “Go before the Israelites. Take some of the elders of the people with you. Carry your walking stick with you. This is the stick that you used when you hit the Nile River. I will stand before you on a rock at Horeb. Hit that rock with the walking stick and water will come out of it. Then the people can drink.” Moses did these things and the elders of Israel saw it. Moses named that place Meribah and Massah, because this was the place that the Israelites turned against him and tested the Lord. The people wanted to know if the Lord was with them or not.”

Exodus 17:1-7 ERV

Firstly; who brought these people out of Egypt? Moses – or was it God? 

Moses was a mighty dude, but come on!

Secondly; God’s people had a real good reason to complain – they we’re in a dessert and were dying of first, (dying might be a bit extreme! We don't actually read that).

The point that really stood out for me was what they did with their legitimate complaint!

They got in the face of Moses, a mere man! What could he do to answer their complaint?

Moses did what God’s people should have done all along – he went to God. The GOD OF ISRAEL! 

Moses didn't have sole rights over the ability to speak to God; any of God’s people could have gone to Him in prayer. Remember, while Israel was in Egypt, God heard them when they cried out in pain over how they were being miss treated!

I wonder whether God had held back water to see what His people would do! To see if they would turn to Him.

Seeing it laid out like this, it seems silly that Israel didn't go directly to God themselves; but actually, I do the same thing they did, pretty much everyday!

I go to man with life's issues!

I voice by frustrations to people; people like my wife etc!

I get the stuff of my chest so to speak. But man can't answer many of life's frustrations (even Louise can't!). The truth is, God can – He has answers that will often blow our minds!

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Okay, I've made my point. Let me finish with this:

“With God’s power working in us, he can do much, much more than anything we can ask or think of. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen.”

Ephesians 3:20-21 ERV

Take it all to God in prayer, then get ready for the answer!

First contact made...

This morning I contacted the social worker who was recommended to us, with regard to adoption. A very nice lady based in Port Elizabeth.  

The phone call was, as the title to this post indicates, first contact. It was like having a very informal interview over the phone. The social worker asked about Louise and myself; she asked searching questions about how long we've been married, whether we were looking for a child from a particular culture, stuff like that. So, even at this early stage, we're being assessed. I kind of expected it to be this way; to enter into adoption we need to be properly screened. A child's welfare is at stake (and ours I guess!). 

After the questions came a whole load of information about the 3 stages towards adoption. In a nutshell they are:  

1. Screening 

2. Placement of a child 

3. Legal side of the adoption  

Each stage comes with quite a cost. When I was hearing all the figures being spoken off, it felt a bit weird, almost like "this is how much it's going to cost for a child"! It felt weird at first, but on reflection, it was a conversation that I was grateful to have. All the costs involved, and they are quite considerable; all the costs are literally the cost of the service that is being provided and the court/legal costs. Louise and I know that their will be a financial outlay involved in this process, but we also know that God is calling us to adopt, and He will provide all we need. 

So, all in all, this first contact, this phone call to the social worker, was good. It's now for Louise and I to discuss this first stage, consider the way forward; and when we are ready, we will need to make an appointment for our first, more formal get together with the social worker. 

Knowing where Louise and I are in our thinking, I probably could have asked for a date today! But let's not rush things, reflection time is important.  

Updates on our progress will follow, so please check my blog from time to time, and you'll know all that is happening!

Return of the Jedi KNIGHT!!

Well, it has been quite some time since I last wrote to my blog, but I'm back and with a whole new topic to share!

For those of you who know Louise and myself, you'll be aware that we have felt God's call upon our lives to enter into the process of becoming adoptive parents.

The idea of adoption has sat with me for quite some time now, but of late God has spoken to us both on the idea, and now we are actively pursuing adoption.

Correctly, there are a lot of bridges that we will have to cross as we go through the necessary screening process. This starts tomorrow (Tuesday 10th), with a phone call to a social worker who has  been recommended to us.

Many of you will be interested in how things are going along our journey; I hope you will visit this blog, where I intend to post updates as they happen.

Please pray for Louise and I, the process is very in-depth, but will be well worth it in the end!

 

Its a set up!

Have you ever been set up for something unexpected? 

Generally when we think about being set up, we think of it in the negative sense! I've been set up by people, organisations, all sorts of things in the past. Some comedy program's are all about setting someone up for a fall, and often we get a laugh out of them, don't we?
So, being set up is something that's hard to see as anything other than a bad thing. But actually, it depends on whose doing the setting up doesn't it?

What if God is setting us up for something?

Now I know you'll probably chuck something like, "no evil comes from God" or something like that; and I totally agree, but sometimes God does set us up, not for a fall, but for our growth and for the continued unfolding of His redemptive plan.

Think about the blind man in John 9, Verses 2 & 3:

2 His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" 3 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

Wasn't the blind man in a way, set up? Set up, so that the works of God might be displayed in Him?

Let me give you an example from my own life:

Things went bad for me at work in a former job; I actually thought I might lose my job because of my former use of drugs. When actually, all the heartache of the moment led me to seek after Jesus; His mighty works we're seen in me, when He set me free from an addiction to drugs!

Could the whole episode have been God setting me up for my salvation, and for a the cure for my drugs problem?

I truly don't believe that God brings about evil in any form; that always comes from evil, or is at least is influenced by evil. But God is able to use anything that is out there, as He sets up circumstances, circumstances that will result in His perfect will being done!

So yes, God sets people up!

I'm currently going through one of the hardest periods of my whole life. I'm in the UK, separated from my wife, my church and pretty much everything that I know as my life. Events led me to get caught up in the negative side of South Africa's new immigration laws.

Has God brought about these things?
No, but He is using these events to set me up; and not only me. God is using these events to set up my wife and my church (The Vine).
As we go through this tough period, people in my fellowship are stepping into roles that they may never have considered, at least not at this point in their lives. New people are preaching, leading men's groups, leading prayer meetings and all kinds of exciting activities. Personally, I'm spending so much time with God, so much time listening to Him, growing in my relationship with Him.

God is setting us up! 

He is using a desperate situation and bringing good out of it!

So what is He setting us up for?

Well, I believe it's for the ministry that He has for us in the town of Humansdorp; I believe He is setting us up for, among many other things, growth in our men's ministry.
At some point I will be returning home - church life will not look the same upon my return, and the changes are going to open up all kinds of new opportunities. Opportunities to serve the people of Humansdorp, opportunities to extend God's Kingdom in that place. But it doesn't end there; coupled with all this will be our growth in faith and effectiveness; it's safe to say, that we're all exercising our faith muscles at this time!

So yes, God is setting us up - and it's all good!

I say it's all good, and it is - but at the same time it's often hard to push through the tough moments?

What is God looking for from us in such moments? How is He proving faithful in them?

Well to start, He wants us to hold on to Him.
He also wants us to search the scriptures for wisdom and encouragement.
He wants us to grow in our relationship with Him, grow in our trust and dependence upon Him.
He wants our fellowship, one to another, to deepen and be expressed in new and exciting ways.

For me, stood here in the UK, I'm hearing about how all these things are happening. And I can't tell you how encouraging and exciting such news is.
Great things are happening at home, but great things are also happening here, in my own life.

God is able to turn all things around and bring good out of them - I can testify to that!

So back to my main point on being set up!

Is God setting you up for something? Is He using circumstance in your life to bring about His amazing plan?

Don't waist a moment of it; turn to our great God and ask Him what His plans are; ask Him what He is looking for.
And then run with it!

The future He has for us all, is for our good, and for the continuance of His awesome redemptive plan for all creation.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV)

Porn!

When I was a young man, to find my dad’s stash of girly mags was almost the pinnacle of my hormone driven life! I remember how a porn mag would do the rounds in my ‘all boys’ school’. I think most young adolescent guys go through such a period in their lives. Many grow out of it; many become addicted to porn and go on to struggle with it in much the same way as a drug addict struggles with substance abuse.

I've had my own nightmare struggles with porn over the years. I grow up in a household that wasn't committed to following Jesus; it wasn't a completely lawless upbringing, but as a growing young man my brother and I shared a porn movie from time to time with my dad. Maybe that was for us, the ‘birds and the bees talk!!’ Problem is, that started things of for me, and as most men know, with such foundations in place, it can often be a real struggle to stay away from porn. The good news for men, who've come from such a background, is that Jesus can change everything. He can tear down those bad foundations, and as we walk with Him, we can build new, solid foundations, that lead us into freedom from ALL kinds of addictions.

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Last night I watched an old episode of ‘Friends’, it was the one where Joey and Chandler somehow managed to get free porn on their TV. They watched it non-stop for days. It got to the point where their view of reality was completely out-of-whack!

‘Joey had received a home delivery pizza from a woman who hadn't come in and had amazing sex with him!’

Clearly, in the porn Joey was watching, that sort of thing happened all the time! 

You know, that’s one of the many problems with porn – you watch this stuff and see such free sex, and after a while you start to see life through the movies. You start to think that that’s the way real life is!

BUT ITS ALL LIES!

Life isn't like the fictional scenarios seen in these movies! Anyone living life with this warped reality needs a serious reality check!

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Why do these TV shows seem to feed the lie that things like porn are okay? Could it be that there portrayal of life is, in many ways, reflective of the world we live in today?

Actually, it was an old episode of ‘Friends’; maybe that’s a picture of what life was like back then. My own stories of porn use are also very OLD! The actual world we live in today has traveled down a long bad road, which has left my experiences, and probably the experiences of the fictional characters, Joey and Chandler well behind. Today porn is so readily available; you can even pick it up on a mobile phone! Gone are the days when newsagents would put the porn mags on the top shelf, away from boys like me – gone are the days when you would get that old VHS ‘blue movie’ and watch porn through a snowstorm of a picture! Today you can view porn on most, if not all mobile devices; on the Internet; via satellite TV and even on normal terrestrial television. There is a generation of boys and GIRLS who are growing up addicted to porn because they have such easy access to it; young adults growing up and entering society with a totally distorted view of sex, largely due to the rubbish they've been viewing.

I’m not pointing fingers at these young guys; I’m actually desperately concerned for them. I know how hard it is to keep away from porn – for these guys the battle is all the harder. We shouldn't judge them; we should show genuine concern for such young people.

Whilst I’m away with my thoughts let me also say this:

I know that some guys will probably read this and say that I’m being over the top – that porn, taken in moderation, is harmless!

I have at least two problems with that – firstly, addictions start with small doses but often spiral completely out of control, in time! And secondly, the women in these porn scenes are somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister; I don’t have a daughter or a sister, but if I did, I wouldn't want her to be the center of someone’s porn fantasies!

We need to look at the big picture guys!

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So what can we do about the ever growing rise in porn addiction – well like all addictions, as I've indicated earlier; walking with Jesus means we can break them all. But there are many other things that we can do to help the next generation who are growing up with this stuff. We can openly talk about our own experiences with porn, we can show that it’s an industry that puts out fictional lies – it warps what is the real beauty of sex. We can put safeguard software on our computers; keep a check on what’s being viewed on phones and other mobile devices. Most importantly, we can be approachable to these guys. Teenagers, young adults aren't stupid; many of them know they have a problem with things like porn. As adults, fathers, mothers, we need to be approachable, so that this next generation have a place to turn to with such issues. A place where they can turn for the right support and the practical help they need to get free.

My ideas aren't all there is. I would encourage you to comment on this post with any practical ideas that you have; advice that may help someone break free from porn.

On a closing note to this post – I heard it said that Mike Bickle (an American pastor), was quoted as saying that this next generation has the potential to be the best ever; because even with the ever increasing alternatives to a life spent following Jesus out their today, many are saying no to such things, and are getting on-board with Jesus.

What a wonderful truth that is?

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Don’t forget to comment with your advice ideas!

Doing the laundry!!

So, a couple of days ago I was stood in my garden hanging washing on my clothes line. I looked across the empty plot next to my property and caught sight of my neighbour who was also there, hanging out his families washing! Two men with wet washing pegging out the family clothing!
It felt quite humorous actually!

There was a time when a man wouldn't be seen dead doing such a thing!

I come from the UK and guess that for many, the line between what is considered a male task and a female task has been somewhat blurred. However, I live in South Africa now; that imaginary line for many is still very much in place.

All of this gave me a moment where I felt God speak to me.

We live in a world where a lot of women are out doing full or part time work. The days when most wives stayed at home and took care of the home and children, for many households, is well and truly over.
So yeah, there was my neighbour and I pegging out the washing - in doing this I was helping my household run smoothly; I'm not going to just sit back and let my wife take care of such tasks!
It's good for men to take a more active role within the running of their households. It might feel weird, even look unusual, but it's something that we shouldn't shirk away from.
Think about it from these terms.


Instructions for Christian Households

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:21–33 (NIV)

There is so much good teaching in these verses eh?

What I want to really highlight is verse 25:

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ...

How did Jesus love the church?

• Well, He gave up His majesty and humbled Himself, in order to become a man!
• He went against cultural norms and reached out in love to others, even if doing so meant He was looked down upon by some!
• And biggest of all, He gave up His life for His church.

Jesus, the manliest man that has ever lived, set us modern day men an example to live by. The adoption of such a humble way of living needs to play itself out in every area of our lives, including working with our wives so that our households run smoothly.

Real MEN hang out the washing!

God bless, keep and lead you!

P.S - I did all the washing and didn't mix the colours!

Spiderman, Batman or is it out and out crazyman!

(Photo of an earlier demonstration held by members of Fathers4Justice)

Campaign group Fathers4Justice member, Tim Haries, 41, from Doncaster, South Yorkshire, is accused of causing more than £5,000 worth of criminal damage.

While I was recently in the UK a beautiful portrait of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was unveiled at Westminster Abbey.
The oil on canvas by Ralph Heimans is a real treasure and has been put on display for all to enjoy.

Tim Haries decided that he would spray paint this picture in order to advance the campaign of the group Fathers4Justice!

I have over the years seen a number of imaginative demonstrations by this group including scaling all kinds of high-rise buildings. I've never really explored to deep what the group is all about; I do however recall what has been shared via news reports covering their earlier campaigns. They want to see Justice for father's, particularly when husbands and wives divorce and there are children involved. A worthy campaign purpose I feel.

My question is:

"Has this senseless act, by this lone individual, helped Fathers4Justice in their mission?"

Well, they've gained some press, but at the same time they have lost a lot of people's respect and support!

I'm not sure, as I write this post whether the group Fathers4Justice sanctioned the action taken by Tim Haries. If they didn't, then I feel it would help them to have a spokesperson publicly declare it. At the same time, the leaders of this group need to make sure that all members know that such a horrible act is un-acceptable.

If Tim Haries is a father trying to regain his children, I believe that he will have hurt his cause by what he has done.
What kind of example has he set a child? Why would you want to trust a man with the welfare of a child if this kind of act is acceptable in his thinking?

As a Christian, as a man of God I am outraged by Tim Haries' actions. I would want to say to him, that fighting for those who are often unfairly treated is a noble thing; but you need to choose your fights wisely. Particularly as a father; what example are you setting the next generation?

Proverbs 3:32 says:

For the LORD detests a perverse man
but takes the upright into his confidence. (NIV)

Its Father's Day this coming weekend (16th June). Many will celebrate and remember their father's, the example they've been. I close this post with this quote by Clarence Budington Kelland, a U.S. writer:

"My father didn't tell me how to live: he lived, and let me watch him do it."

A father has the responsibility of teaching the next generation. Do it wisely!

Re-defining marriage

To those who feel the need to re-define marriage, can I ask you to give me ten minutes of your time!

Please open the bible (that's the Word of God, by the way); read the first three chapters of Genesis. Once you've read this, turn to the New Testament and read the first three chapters of Romans.

Thank you for your ten minutes; can we now get on with Kingdom of God business and the sharing of the gospel!

Thanks!

If God is speaking we should listen...

And since God gave these Gentiles the same gift he gave us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I to stand in God’s way?” (Acts 11:17 NLT)

This verse is taken from the book of Acts when Peter had returned from ministering to some Gentiles in their home. He was questioned as to whether it was right for him to go into a Gentiles home. God had earlier shown him that Peter shouldn't consider unclean what God had made clean. It's context concerns what food Peter could eat, and whether it was okay with God for him to enter a Gentiles home.

What an important truth this verse from Acts finishes with; does it apply to other situations?

Take a look at the verse again:

And since God gave these Gentiles the same gift he gave us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I to stand in God’s way?” (Acts 11:17 NLT)

I believe God has given me a gift to preach/teach and make disciples. Many have been given such gifting. However, some are questioned as to whether its right for them to use these gifts!

I'm talking about women; and I know that many will disagree with me on this, but I have to say:

If God is speaking to me through a person; teaching me, discipling me and I know it's coming to me from God - I don't care whether the vessel He uses is male or female! I want to hear from God!

I know their is much more to be said on this and many other scriptures that can be used to back up both sides of the debate. But come on, isn't the bottom line about whether God is the author - is He the one speaking?

Peter said, "who was I to stand in God’s way?"

I think we should check ourselves in case we are the ones standing in God's way!

Think first, answer second!!

Man I got myself in all kinds of trouble last year, because I didn't pause to think before saying yes or no!

¹² But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. James 5:12 (ESV)

It's so easy for me to get caught up in the moment and get carried away!

I've often said yes, or given the impression that it's going to be a yes when actually, away from the scene I've realised that I should be saying no!

The reverse is also true - I've had those quick decision moments where I've answered 'no, it doesn't work for me', when actually, later I've realised that the right response would have been a big fat YES!

I'm learning this year to think before responding; before getting carried away!

I'm learning that sometimes I need to respond to people by saying:

'Can I get back to you on that'!

May 2013 be a year where I don't put my foot right in it by not taking the time to think first!

Onion sprouts and the Word of God!

The other night I was cooking my dinner before bible study. I was having a nice spicy stir fry with onion sprouts and a side order of scripture.

Actually, what was happening is that I was cooking dinner, and while stirring the pan I was reading one of the chapters of my year through the bible plan.
Yes it's a strange way to complete my readings for the day, but at the same time it illustrates that we can grab the Word of God at anytime!

I wouldn't recommend this as your only way of studying scripture. Cooking and reading isn't the best way to focus on what God is saying, but it can still be a useful exercise!

I'm reminded of a story about a young lad out with his grandfather at the beach.
The grandfather sent the young lad to the waters edge with instructions to fill his leaking bucket with water so as to fill a hole they had dug together.
However, the leaking bucket meant much of the water would run out before it was brought to the dug hole. Although the bucket had a hole in it, some of the water was retained and the dug hole was eventually filled!

It's a bit like that with reading scripture, much like I was doing while cooking my delicious stir fry. Though I might not retain all that I've read, some of it does remain!

Take every opportunity to read the Word of God.

Is my faith a secret, an illusion?

"The Book of James makes it clear that faith without works is dead! There is no such thing as private faith that is not lived out through public action. That's an American myth not a Biblical truth.

If you claim to have a personal relationship with the GOD of the entire universe, and HE lives inside of you, yet nobody knows because it's a secret...It's not a secret, it's an illusion.

Our relationship Jesus must benefit the people around us, beginning with our own families".
(Kris Vallotton via Facebook)

I read this on Facebook by a pastor I follow.

Sometimes Kris says things that I don't always agree with; but I like that - I don't want to just follow blogs etc that fit in with my thinking. I want to be made to think about what I'm reading and not just blindly agree.

Anyway, I didn't post his quote to just say that!

The book of James is always going to be one of those in your face books (no pun intended!) of the bible - to have Kris post an extract from it has forced me to really think about its challenge.

Can people see my faith? Or does my relationship with God remain a secret to the world around me?

Those closest to me know that I'm a Christian, but are they aware of it because I live out my faith in word and deed? Or is it all about them simply knowing of my confession?

I'm not what you would call a natural born evangelist but I do recognise that my public Christian life maybe the only bible that some people get to view. If I'm not living the Christ stuff out, I'm not a follower of Christ, I'm simply a reader of Christ! How will that help anyone?

Kris (apostle James, God!), I'm challenged!

Quote from Kris Vallotton can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/kvministries/posts/10151225118893741