Porn!

When I was a young man, to find my dad’s stash of girly mags was almost the pinnacle of my hormone driven life! I remember how a porn mag would do the rounds in my ‘all boys’ school’. I think most young adolescent guys go through such a period in their lives. Many grow out of it; many become addicted to porn and go on to struggle with it in much the same way as a drug addict struggles with substance abuse.

I've had my own nightmare struggles with porn over the years. I grow up in a household that wasn't committed to following Jesus; it wasn't a completely lawless upbringing, but as a growing young man my brother and I shared a porn movie from time to time with my dad. Maybe that was for us, the ‘birds and the bees talk!!’ Problem is, that started things of for me, and as most men know, with such foundations in place, it can often be a real struggle to stay away from porn. The good news for men, who've come from such a background, is that Jesus can change everything. He can tear down those bad foundations, and as we walk with Him, we can build new, solid foundations, that lead us into freedom from ALL kinds of addictions.

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Last night I watched an old episode of ‘Friends’, it was the one where Joey and Chandler somehow managed to get free porn on their TV. They watched it non-stop for days. It got to the point where their view of reality was completely out-of-whack!

‘Joey had received a home delivery pizza from a woman who hadn't come in and had amazing sex with him!’

Clearly, in the porn Joey was watching, that sort of thing happened all the time! 

You know, that’s one of the many problems with porn – you watch this stuff and see such free sex, and after a while you start to see life through the movies. You start to think that that’s the way real life is!

BUT ITS ALL LIES!

Life isn't like the fictional scenarios seen in these movies! Anyone living life with this warped reality needs a serious reality check!

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Why do these TV shows seem to feed the lie that things like porn are okay? Could it be that there portrayal of life is, in many ways, reflective of the world we live in today?

Actually, it was an old episode of ‘Friends’; maybe that’s a picture of what life was like back then. My own stories of porn use are also very OLD! The actual world we live in today has traveled down a long bad road, which has left my experiences, and probably the experiences of the fictional characters, Joey and Chandler well behind. Today porn is so readily available; you can even pick it up on a mobile phone! Gone are the days when newsagents would put the porn mags on the top shelf, away from boys like me – gone are the days when you would get that old VHS ‘blue movie’ and watch porn through a snowstorm of a picture! Today you can view porn on most, if not all mobile devices; on the Internet; via satellite TV and even on normal terrestrial television. There is a generation of boys and GIRLS who are growing up addicted to porn because they have such easy access to it; young adults growing up and entering society with a totally distorted view of sex, largely due to the rubbish they've been viewing.

I’m not pointing fingers at these young guys; I’m actually desperately concerned for them. I know how hard it is to keep away from porn – for these guys the battle is all the harder. We shouldn't judge them; we should show genuine concern for such young people.

Whilst I’m away with my thoughts let me also say this:

I know that some guys will probably read this and say that I’m being over the top – that porn, taken in moderation, is harmless!

I have at least two problems with that – firstly, addictions start with small doses but often spiral completely out of control, in time! And secondly, the women in these porn scenes are somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister; I don’t have a daughter or a sister, but if I did, I wouldn't want her to be the center of someone’s porn fantasies!

We need to look at the big picture guys!

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So what can we do about the ever growing rise in porn addiction – well like all addictions, as I've indicated earlier; walking with Jesus means we can break them all. But there are many other things that we can do to help the next generation who are growing up with this stuff. We can openly talk about our own experiences with porn, we can show that it’s an industry that puts out fictional lies – it warps what is the real beauty of sex. We can put safeguard software on our computers; keep a check on what’s being viewed on phones and other mobile devices. Most importantly, we can be approachable to these guys. Teenagers, young adults aren't stupid; many of them know they have a problem with things like porn. As adults, fathers, mothers, we need to be approachable, so that this next generation have a place to turn to with such issues. A place where they can turn for the right support and the practical help they need to get free.

My ideas aren't all there is. I would encourage you to comment on this post with any practical ideas that you have; advice that may help someone break free from porn.

On a closing note to this post – I heard it said that Mike Bickle (an American pastor), was quoted as saying that this next generation has the potential to be the best ever; because even with the ever increasing alternatives to a life spent following Jesus out their today, many are saying no to such things, and are getting on-board with Jesus.

What a wonderful truth that is?

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Don’t forget to comment with your advice ideas!

Doing the laundry!!

So, a couple of days ago I was stood in my garden hanging washing on my clothes line. I looked across the empty plot next to my property and caught sight of my neighbour who was also there, hanging out his families washing! Two men with wet washing pegging out the family clothing!
It felt quite humorous actually!

There was a time when a man wouldn't be seen dead doing such a thing!

I come from the UK and guess that for many, the line between what is considered a male task and a female task has been somewhat blurred. However, I live in South Africa now; that imaginary line for many is still very much in place.

All of this gave me a moment where I felt God speak to me.

We live in a world where a lot of women are out doing full or part time work. The days when most wives stayed at home and took care of the home and children, for many households, is well and truly over.
So yeah, there was my neighbour and I pegging out the washing - in doing this I was helping my household run smoothly; I'm not going to just sit back and let my wife take care of such tasks!
It's good for men to take a more active role within the running of their households. It might feel weird, even look unusual, but it's something that we shouldn't shirk away from.
Think about it from these terms.


Instructions for Christian Households

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:21–33 (NIV)

There is so much good teaching in these verses eh?

What I want to really highlight is verse 25:

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ...

How did Jesus love the church?

• Well, He gave up His majesty and humbled Himself, in order to become a man!
• He went against cultural norms and reached out in love to others, even if doing so meant He was looked down upon by some!
• And biggest of all, He gave up His life for His church.

Jesus, the manliest man that has ever lived, set us modern day men an example to live by. The adoption of such a humble way of living needs to play itself out in every area of our lives, including working with our wives so that our households run smoothly.

Real MEN hang out the washing!

God bless, keep and lead you!

P.S - I did all the washing and didn't mix the colours!

For God So Loved the World...

16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (ESV)

If you’re a Christian, you will undoubtedly know this verse very well. It may well be the first verse you ever memorized. Actually many in our world today, who don’t even know Jesus as their Lord and Saviour, have probably heard this verse; it’s so widely known.

My devotional today encouraged me to read it as though it was the first time I had ever seen it (why don’t you pause here and do likewise – read it like it’s completely new to you).

What an amazing verse? What is the gospel that I preach, ‘John 3v16’; it’s all there isn’t it!
For God… The creator of all life, the Almighty God, the one who we can all know as ‘our God’.

so loved the world… Warts and all, God loves this world; the good and the bad parts of it, God loves this world. Those that mess up, like me! Those that get it right, God loves them all!

that He gave… God wasn’t forced into anything, He wasn’t blackmailed. No one had Him over a barrel. God, our God gave; He made a choice to give something so incredibly precious, not just for those in the world who are good, but for all of us.

His only Son… Some of us haven’t been blessed with having children yet; I would like a child. Our God had one; He had a son, and He gave Him to die on a cross for each and every one of us.

that whoever believes in him... Key word here is ‘believe’. It doesn’t say ‘whoever earned or deserved. Believe - we’re called to believe in Jesus. It’s not that hard to believe in things really; I believe in my football team (AFC Wimbledon), I believe they’re the greatest football team ever!! Believing in things isn’t hard; it’s a choice one makes. We’re invited to believe in Jesus.

should not perish… Does this mean we won’t die? Answer: We die, we all die, but death isn’t final. Death is like the metamorphosis from one existence to another.

but have eternal life… Life with no end isn’t something that all people would consider a good thing. But we’re not talking about life as we know it, in the here and now. We’re talking about life with Jesus, in a place of incredible perfection. Life where one can fully realise that for which one was created for.

Did you read this incredible verse anew today?

How has God spoken to you?

Who needs Spiderman’s spidey senses!

Within our church here we’ve started a new journey through the book of Romans. Over the coming weeks I’m going to be adapting my sermons for my blog. I think that God is giving me this stuff to share with my fellowship, but also to encourage men everywhere.

I hope you enjoy the read.

1 Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, 2 which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy Scriptures, 3 concerning his Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh 4 and was declared to be the Son of God in power according to the Spirit of holiness by his resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord, 5 through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name among all the nations, 6 including you who are called to belong to Jesus Christ, 7 To all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 1:1–7 (ESV)

If you look at Romans 1:1-7 you see the apostle Paul introducing himself to the church in Rome. Verses 3 & 4 really stand out for me concerning the two detailed natures of Jesus.

First we see that Jesus was a descendant of King David. This being the case means we are able to recognise the human nature of Jesus. These verses however show that Jesus was more than just a man, He was also the Son of God, and declared so through His resurrection in power.

Guy’s think about this for a moment, Jesus isn’t some distant deity that has no clue as to what being a bloke is all about – He is fully God but also fully man. Now don’t ask me how to theologically explain how that is all possible. If I have to get into all that, you might end up missing the quite amazing truth that Jesus knows all about being a bloke.

You know what? I can follow a God like that; one who knows my struggles! I can worship a God like that; one who isn’t some far away distant deity!

Keep looking at these verses and you’ll see mention of Jesus being resurrected in power. This is something that we as believers have in common with Jesus. You see, when we turn to Jesus and ask Him to be our Saviour, our Lord, something amazing happens. In less than a micro second to us, we die and are re-born. In that micro second we, like Jesus, are resurrected in power and declared sons and daughters of God. That’s cool stuff right there eh?

It’s such amazing stuff that Hollywood and Marvel comics have been using the idea for years. Notice how Marvel’s Superheroes nearly always go through some kind of near death experience. This experience is closely followed by the receiving of some kind of new power!

Now as followers of Jesus, we may not have Spiderman’s super spidey senses, but we do have something that’s quite unique to us as Christians. We have the Holy Spirit who lives within us. He, among many other things, is the new power of God that we are re-born with.

Now the Holy Spirit lives in and with us for many reasons, one is all about the idea of bringing about change. Something happens in us when become Christians doesn’t it? We start to change from the inside out; we start to take on the characteristics of Jesus. In fact I defy you to show me a person who knows Jesus as both Lord and Saviour, who hasn’t experienced some kind of change in their life!

The change however doesn’t stop with our remodelling; as we become more responsive to the Holy Spirit within us, He will often lead us to engage in our communities in new ways, ways in which He can begin to influence change. In the hands of God, each and every one of us can be an instrument of change in our local communities, in our circle of friends, and even in our families.

I want to encourage you as you read this, to recognise the new nature you’ve been born with. When you started believing in Jesus; when He became your Lord and Saviour, you were given a new nature, one known as a ‘child of God, born in power’. Recognise this amazing miracle in your life, work with the Holy Spirit and you won’t see a fictional tale of a superhero making a difference, you’ll see a real life bloke making a difference wherever he goes.

Go, and save the day!!