Where do we take our frustrations?

I'm reading through some of the stories that make up the Old Testament. At present, those stories are about God's people in the dessert; they've just come out of Egypt and are travelling to worship God and in time, make it to the Promised Land!

Very familiar stories to many of us, I'm sure! But something stood out afresh for me today:

"What do we do with our frustrations"?

Let me set the scene; God did some pretty massive things in Egypt that not only rocked the Egyptians world, but would have left Israel, God's people, with no doubt as to who is running the show; the God of Israel is Sovereign, and is the one true God!

Take a look at this from their travels:

“The Israelites left the western Sinai desert. They traveled all together from place to place as the Lord commanded. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink. So they turned against Moses and started arguing with him. They said, “Give us water to drink.” Moses said to them, “Why have you turned against me? Why are you testing the Lord?” But the people were very thirsty, so they continued complaining to Moses. They said, “Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Did you bring us out here so that we, our children, and our cattle will all die without water?” So Moses cried to the Lord, “What can I do with these people? They are ready to kill me.” The Lord said to Moses, “Go before the Israelites. Take some of the elders of the people with you. Carry your walking stick with you. This is the stick that you used when you hit the Nile River. I will stand before you on a rock at Horeb. Hit that rock with the walking stick and water will come out of it. Then the people can drink.” Moses did these things and the elders of Israel saw it. Moses named that place Meribah and Massah, because this was the place that the Israelites turned against him and tested the Lord. The people wanted to know if the Lord was with them or not.”

Exodus 17:1-7 ERV

Firstly; who brought these people out of Egypt? Moses – or was it God? 

Moses was a mighty dude, but come on!

Secondly; God’s people had a real good reason to complain – they we’re in a dessert and were dying of first, (dying might be a bit extreme! We don't actually read that).

The point that really stood out for me was what they did with their legitimate complaint!

They got in the face of Moses, a mere man! What could he do to answer their complaint?

Moses did what God’s people should have done all along – he went to God. The GOD OF ISRAEL! 

Moses didn't have sole rights over the ability to speak to God; any of God’s people could have gone to Him in prayer. Remember, while Israel was in Egypt, God heard them when they cried out in pain over how they were being miss treated!

I wonder whether God had held back water to see what His people would do! To see if they would turn to Him.

Seeing it laid out like this, it seems silly that Israel didn't go directly to God themselves; but actually, I do the same thing they did, pretty much everyday!

I go to man with life's issues!

I voice by frustrations to people; people like my wife etc!

I get the stuff of my chest so to speak. But man can't answer many of life's frustrations (even Louise can't!). The truth is, God can – He has answers that will often blow our minds!

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Okay, I've made my point. Let me finish with this:

“With God’s power working in us, he can do much, much more than anything we can ask or think of. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen.”

Ephesians 3:20-21 ERV

Take it all to God in prayer, then get ready for the answer!

First contact made...

This morning I contacted the social worker who was recommended to us, with regard to adoption. A very nice lady based in Port Elizabeth.  

The phone call was, as the title to this post indicates, first contact. It was like having a very informal interview over the phone. The social worker asked about Louise and myself; she asked searching questions about how long we've been married, whether we were looking for a child from a particular culture, stuff like that. So, even at this early stage, we're being assessed. I kind of expected it to be this way; to enter into adoption we need to be properly screened. A child's welfare is at stake (and ours I guess!). 

After the questions came a whole load of information about the 3 stages towards adoption. In a nutshell they are:  

1. Screening 

2. Placement of a child 

3. Legal side of the adoption  

Each stage comes with quite a cost. When I was hearing all the figures being spoken off, it felt a bit weird, almost like "this is how much it's going to cost for a child"! It felt weird at first, but on reflection, it was a conversation that I was grateful to have. All the costs involved, and they are quite considerable; all the costs are literally the cost of the service that is being provided and the court/legal costs. Louise and I know that their will be a financial outlay involved in this process, but we also know that God is calling us to adopt, and He will provide all we need. 

So, all in all, this first contact, this phone call to the social worker, was good. It's now for Louise and I to discuss this first stage, consider the way forward; and when we are ready, we will need to make an appointment for our first, more formal get together with the social worker. 

Knowing where Louise and I are in our thinking, I probably could have asked for a date today! But let's not rush things, reflection time is important.  

Updates on our progress will follow, so please check my blog from time to time, and you'll know all that is happening!

Return of the Jedi KNIGHT!!

Well, it has been quite some time since I last wrote to my blog, but I'm back and with a whole new topic to share!

For those of you who know Louise and myself, you'll be aware that we have felt God's call upon our lives to enter into the process of becoming adoptive parents.

The idea of adoption has sat with me for quite some time now, but of late God has spoken to us both on the idea, and now we are actively pursuing adoption.

Correctly, there are a lot of bridges that we will have to cross as we go through the necessary screening process. This starts tomorrow (Tuesday 10th), with a phone call to a social worker who has  been recommended to us.

Many of you will be interested in how things are going along our journey; I hope you will visit this blog, where I intend to post updates as they happen.

Please pray for Louise and I, the process is very in-depth, but will be well worth it in the end!

 

Its a set up!

Have you ever been set up for something unexpected? 

Generally when we think about being set up, we think of it in the negative sense! I've been set up by people, organisations, all sorts of things in the past. Some comedy program's are all about setting someone up for a fall, and often we get a laugh out of them, don't we?
So, being set up is something that's hard to see as anything other than a bad thing. But actually, it depends on whose doing the setting up doesn't it?

What if God is setting us up for something?

Now I know you'll probably chuck something like, "no evil comes from God" or something like that; and I totally agree, but sometimes God does set us up, not for a fall, but for our growth and for the continued unfolding of His redemptive plan.

Think about the blind man in John 9, Verses 2 & 3:

2 His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" 3 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

Wasn't the blind man in a way, set up? Set up, so that the works of God might be displayed in Him?

Let me give you an example from my own life:

Things went bad for me at work in a former job; I actually thought I might lose my job because of my former use of drugs. When actually, all the heartache of the moment led me to seek after Jesus; His mighty works we're seen in me, when He set me free from an addiction to drugs!

Could the whole episode have been God setting me up for my salvation, and for a the cure for my drugs problem?

I truly don't believe that God brings about evil in any form; that always comes from evil, or is at least is influenced by evil. But God is able to use anything that is out there, as He sets up circumstances, circumstances that will result in His perfect will being done!

So yes, God sets people up!

I'm currently going through one of the hardest periods of my whole life. I'm in the UK, separated from my wife, my church and pretty much everything that I know as my life. Events led me to get caught up in the negative side of South Africa's new immigration laws.

Has God brought about these things?
No, but He is using these events to set me up; and not only me. God is using these events to set up my wife and my church (The Vine).
As we go through this tough period, people in my fellowship are stepping into roles that they may never have considered, at least not at this point in their lives. New people are preaching, leading men's groups, leading prayer meetings and all kinds of exciting activities. Personally, I'm spending so much time with God, so much time listening to Him, growing in my relationship with Him.

God is setting us up! 

He is using a desperate situation and bringing good out of it!

So what is He setting us up for?

Well, I believe it's for the ministry that He has for us in the town of Humansdorp; I believe He is setting us up for, among many other things, growth in our men's ministry.
At some point I will be returning home - church life will not look the same upon my return, and the changes are going to open up all kinds of new opportunities. Opportunities to serve the people of Humansdorp, opportunities to extend God's Kingdom in that place. But it doesn't end there; coupled with all this will be our growth in faith and effectiveness; it's safe to say, that we're all exercising our faith muscles at this time!

So yes, God is setting us up - and it's all good!

I say it's all good, and it is - but at the same time it's often hard to push through the tough moments?

What is God looking for from us in such moments? How is He proving faithful in them?

Well to start, He wants us to hold on to Him.
He also wants us to search the scriptures for wisdom and encouragement.
He wants us to grow in our relationship with Him, grow in our trust and dependence upon Him.
He wants our fellowship, one to another, to deepen and be expressed in new and exciting ways.

For me, stood here in the UK, I'm hearing about how all these things are happening. And I can't tell you how encouraging and exciting such news is.
Great things are happening at home, but great things are also happening here, in my own life.

God is able to turn all things around and bring good out of them - I can testify to that!

So back to my main point on being set up!

Is God setting you up for something? Is He using circumstance in your life to bring about His amazing plan?

Don't waist a moment of it; turn to our great God and ask Him what His plans are; ask Him what He is looking for.
And then run with it!

The future He has for us all, is for our good, and for the continuance of His awesome redemptive plan for all creation.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV)

Porn!

When I was a young man, to find my dad’s stash of girly mags was almost the pinnacle of my hormone driven life! I remember how a porn mag would do the rounds in my ‘all boys’ school’. I think most young adolescent guys go through such a period in their lives. Many grow out of it; many become addicted to porn and go on to struggle with it in much the same way as a drug addict struggles with substance abuse.

I've had my own nightmare struggles with porn over the years. I grow up in a household that wasn't committed to following Jesus; it wasn't a completely lawless upbringing, but as a growing young man my brother and I shared a porn movie from time to time with my dad. Maybe that was for us, the ‘birds and the bees talk!!’ Problem is, that started things of for me, and as most men know, with such foundations in place, it can often be a real struggle to stay away from porn. The good news for men, who've come from such a background, is that Jesus can change everything. He can tear down those bad foundations, and as we walk with Him, we can build new, solid foundations, that lead us into freedom from ALL kinds of addictions.

--

Last night I watched an old episode of ‘Friends’, it was the one where Joey and Chandler somehow managed to get free porn on their TV. They watched it non-stop for days. It got to the point where their view of reality was completely out-of-whack!

‘Joey had received a home delivery pizza from a woman who hadn't come in and had amazing sex with him!’

Clearly, in the porn Joey was watching, that sort of thing happened all the time! 

You know, that’s one of the many problems with porn – you watch this stuff and see such free sex, and after a while you start to see life through the movies. You start to think that that’s the way real life is!

BUT ITS ALL LIES!

Life isn't like the fictional scenarios seen in these movies! Anyone living life with this warped reality needs a serious reality check!

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Why do these TV shows seem to feed the lie that things like porn are okay? Could it be that there portrayal of life is, in many ways, reflective of the world we live in today?

Actually, it was an old episode of ‘Friends’; maybe that’s a picture of what life was like back then. My own stories of porn use are also very OLD! The actual world we live in today has traveled down a long bad road, which has left my experiences, and probably the experiences of the fictional characters, Joey and Chandler well behind. Today porn is so readily available; you can even pick it up on a mobile phone! Gone are the days when newsagents would put the porn mags on the top shelf, away from boys like me – gone are the days when you would get that old VHS ‘blue movie’ and watch porn through a snowstorm of a picture! Today you can view porn on most, if not all mobile devices; on the Internet; via satellite TV and even on normal terrestrial television. There is a generation of boys and GIRLS who are growing up addicted to porn because they have such easy access to it; young adults growing up and entering society with a totally distorted view of sex, largely due to the rubbish they've been viewing.

I’m not pointing fingers at these young guys; I’m actually desperately concerned for them. I know how hard it is to keep away from porn – for these guys the battle is all the harder. We shouldn't judge them; we should show genuine concern for such young people.

Whilst I’m away with my thoughts let me also say this:

I know that some guys will probably read this and say that I’m being over the top – that porn, taken in moderation, is harmless!

I have at least two problems with that – firstly, addictions start with small doses but often spiral completely out of control, in time! And secondly, the women in these porn scenes are somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister; I don’t have a daughter or a sister, but if I did, I wouldn't want her to be the center of someone’s porn fantasies!

We need to look at the big picture guys!

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So what can we do about the ever growing rise in porn addiction – well like all addictions, as I've indicated earlier; walking with Jesus means we can break them all. But there are many other things that we can do to help the next generation who are growing up with this stuff. We can openly talk about our own experiences with porn, we can show that it’s an industry that puts out fictional lies – it warps what is the real beauty of sex. We can put safeguard software on our computers; keep a check on what’s being viewed on phones and other mobile devices. Most importantly, we can be approachable to these guys. Teenagers, young adults aren't stupid; many of them know they have a problem with things like porn. As adults, fathers, mothers, we need to be approachable, so that this next generation have a place to turn to with such issues. A place where they can turn for the right support and the practical help they need to get free.

My ideas aren't all there is. I would encourage you to comment on this post with any practical ideas that you have; advice that may help someone break free from porn.

On a closing note to this post – I heard it said that Mike Bickle (an American pastor), was quoted as saying that this next generation has the potential to be the best ever; because even with the ever increasing alternatives to a life spent following Jesus out their today, many are saying no to such things, and are getting on-board with Jesus.

What a wonderful truth that is?

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Don’t forget to comment with your advice ideas!

Doing the laundry!!

So, a couple of days ago I was stood in my garden hanging washing on my clothes line. I looked across the empty plot next to my property and caught sight of my neighbour who was also there, hanging out his families washing! Two men with wet washing pegging out the family clothing!
It felt quite humorous actually!

There was a time when a man wouldn't be seen dead doing such a thing!

I come from the UK and guess that for many, the line between what is considered a male task and a female task has been somewhat blurred. However, I live in South Africa now; that imaginary line for many is still very much in place.

All of this gave me a moment where I felt God speak to me.

We live in a world where a lot of women are out doing full or part time work. The days when most wives stayed at home and took care of the home and children, for many households, is well and truly over.
So yeah, there was my neighbour and I pegging out the washing - in doing this I was helping my household run smoothly; I'm not going to just sit back and let my wife take care of such tasks!
It's good for men to take a more active role within the running of their households. It might feel weird, even look unusual, but it's something that we shouldn't shirk away from.
Think about it from these terms.


Instructions for Christian Households

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:21–33 (NIV)

There is so much good teaching in these verses eh?

What I want to really highlight is verse 25:

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ...

How did Jesus love the church?

• Well, He gave up His majesty and humbled Himself, in order to become a man!
• He went against cultural norms and reached out in love to others, even if doing so meant He was looked down upon by some!
• And biggest of all, He gave up His life for His church.

Jesus, the manliest man that has ever lived, set us modern day men an example to live by. The adoption of such a humble way of living needs to play itself out in every area of our lives, including working with our wives so that our households run smoothly.

Real MEN hang out the washing!

God bless, keep and lead you!

P.S - I did all the washing and didn't mix the colours!

Spiderman, Batman or is it out and out crazyman!

(Photo of an earlier demonstration held by members of Fathers4Justice)

Campaign group Fathers4Justice member, Tim Haries, 41, from Doncaster, South Yorkshire, is accused of causing more than £5,000 worth of criminal damage.

While I was recently in the UK a beautiful portrait of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was unveiled at Westminster Abbey.
The oil on canvas by Ralph Heimans is a real treasure and has been put on display for all to enjoy.

Tim Haries decided that he would spray paint this picture in order to advance the campaign of the group Fathers4Justice!

I have over the years seen a number of imaginative demonstrations by this group including scaling all kinds of high-rise buildings. I've never really explored to deep what the group is all about; I do however recall what has been shared via news reports covering their earlier campaigns. They want to see Justice for father's, particularly when husbands and wives divorce and there are children involved. A worthy campaign purpose I feel.

My question is:

"Has this senseless act, by this lone individual, helped Fathers4Justice in their mission?"

Well, they've gained some press, but at the same time they have lost a lot of people's respect and support!

I'm not sure, as I write this post whether the group Fathers4Justice sanctioned the action taken by Tim Haries. If they didn't, then I feel it would help them to have a spokesperson publicly declare it. At the same time, the leaders of this group need to make sure that all members know that such a horrible act is un-acceptable.

If Tim Haries is a father trying to regain his children, I believe that he will have hurt his cause by what he has done.
What kind of example has he set a child? Why would you want to trust a man with the welfare of a child if this kind of act is acceptable in his thinking?

As a Christian, as a man of God I am outraged by Tim Haries' actions. I would want to say to him, that fighting for those who are often unfairly treated is a noble thing; but you need to choose your fights wisely. Particularly as a father; what example are you setting the next generation?

Proverbs 3:32 says:

For the LORD detests a perverse man
but takes the upright into his confidence. (NIV)

Its Father's Day this coming weekend (16th June). Many will celebrate and remember their father's, the example they've been. I close this post with this quote by Clarence Budington Kelland, a U.S. writer:

"My father didn't tell me how to live: he lived, and let me watch him do it."

A father has the responsibility of teaching the next generation. Do it wisely!