When I was a young man, to find my dad’s stash of girly mags
was almost the pinnacle of my hormone driven life! I remember how a porn mag
would do the rounds in my ‘all boys’ school’. I think most young adolescent
guys go through such a period in their lives. Many grow out of it; many become
addicted to porn and go on to struggle with it in much the same way as a drug
addict struggles with substance abuse.
I've had my own nightmare struggles with porn over the
years. I grow up in a household that wasn't committed to following Jesus; it
wasn't a completely lawless upbringing, but as a growing young man my brother
and I shared a porn movie from time to time with my dad. Maybe that was for us,
the ‘birds and the bees talk!!’ Problem is, that started things of for me, and as
most men know, with such foundations in place, it can often be a real struggle
to stay away from porn. The good news for men, who've come from such a
background, is that Jesus can change everything. He can tear down those bad foundations,
and as we walk with Him, we can build new, solid foundations, that lead us into
freedom from ALL kinds of addictions.
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Last night I watched an old episode of ‘Friends’, it was the
one where Joey and Chandler somehow managed to get free porn on their TV. They
watched it non-stop for days. It got to the point where their view of reality
was completely out-of-whack!
‘Joey had received a
home delivery pizza from a woman who hadn't come in and had amazing sex with
him!’
Clearly, in the porn Joey was watching, that sort of thing
happened all the time!
You know, that’s one of the many problems with porn –
you watch this stuff and see such free sex, and after a while you start to see
life through the movies. You start to think that that’s the way real life is!
BUT ITS ALL LIES!
Life isn't like the fictional scenarios seen in these
movies! Anyone living life with this warped reality needs a serious reality
check!
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Why do these TV shows seem to feed the lie that things like
porn are okay? Could it be that there portrayal of life is, in many ways, reflective
of the world we live in today?
Actually, it was an old episode of ‘Friends’; maybe that’s a
picture of what life was like back then. My own stories of porn use are also very
OLD! The actual world we live in today has traveled down a long bad road,
which has left my experiences, and probably the experiences of the fictional
characters, Joey and Chandler well behind. Today porn is so readily available;
you can even pick it up on a mobile phone! Gone are the days when newsagents
would put the porn mags on the top shelf, away from boys like me – gone are the
days when you would get that old VHS ‘blue movie’ and watch porn through a
snowstorm of a picture! Today you can view porn on most, if not all mobile
devices; on the Internet; via satellite TV and even on normal terrestrial
television. There is a generation of boys and GIRLS who are growing up addicted
to porn because they have such easy access to it; young adults growing up and entering
society with a totally distorted view of sex, largely due to the rubbish
they've been viewing.
I’m not pointing fingers at these young guys; I’m actually
desperately concerned for them. I know how hard it is to keep away from porn –
for these guys the battle is all the harder. We shouldn't judge them; we should
show genuine concern for such young people.
Whilst I’m away with my thoughts let me also say this:
I know that some guys
will probably read this and say that I’m being over the top – that porn, taken
in moderation, is harmless!
I have at least two problems with that – firstly, addictions
start with small doses but often spiral completely out of control, in time! And
secondly, the women in these porn scenes are somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister;
I don’t have a daughter or a sister, but if I did, I wouldn't want her to be
the center of someone’s porn fantasies!
We need to look at
the big picture guys!
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So what can we do about the ever growing rise in porn
addiction – well like all addictions, as I've indicated earlier; walking with
Jesus means we can break them all. But there are many other things that we can
do to help the next generation who are growing up with this stuff. We can
openly talk about our own experiences with porn, we can show that it’s an
industry that puts out fictional lies – it warps what is the real beauty of
sex. We can put safeguard software on our computers; keep a check on what’s
being viewed on phones and other mobile devices. Most importantly, we can be
approachable to these guys. Teenagers, young adults aren't stupid; many of them
know they have a problem with things like porn. As adults, fathers, mothers, we
need to be approachable, so that this next generation have a place to turn to
with such issues. A place where they can turn for the right support and the practical
help they need to get free.
My ideas aren't all there is. I would encourage you to
comment on this post with any practical ideas that you have; advice that may
help someone break free from porn.
On a closing note to this post – I heard it said that Mike
Bickle (an American pastor), was quoted as saying that this next generation has
the potential to be the best ever; because even with the ever increasing alternatives
to a life spent following Jesus out their today, many are saying no to such
things, and are getting on-board with Jesus.
What a wonderful
truth that is?
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Don’t forget to
comment with your advice ideas!
