Sunday, June 12, 2016

Overwhelmed...

Friday morning Louise and I went to collect our daughter!

Everything we’ve longed for, for so long a time, has now become a reality in our lives - I'm a dad, Louise is a mum; we have a daughter! 
Abigail is the most amazing little girl. She’s a tiny little one, and has the most beautiful eyes. Every time I look at her, it feels like my heart just gets bigger and bigger, and fills with more and more love for her.
People have told me, that nothing can compare to the moment when you become a dad, and you hold your baby in your arms for the first time! Holding this little person, who just gazes up at me, wow – wow, wow, wow,wow!! There is nothing better! I'm loving being Abigail’s dad!

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As I write this post, Abigail sleeps; the sound of her breathing, her little whimpers remind me of just how lucky I am – And what an amazing blessing God has given me.
I've had a whole load of firsts; first nappy change, first burping session, first, rock the baby to sleep, first dress a little baby  – wonderful, every moment of it is wonderful!

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Saturday was our first full day with Abigail, and already, we can see that she is taking to us, and feeling more and more comfortable in her new home. It felt like a strange day in some ways; Abby has the usual every four hour feed cycle, so you just do everything around that cycle. Part of the day included a special moment for one Granny and one Omar; Abby met my mum and Louise’s mom for the first time; think it's safe to say, they're hooked! More such first time meetings will be happening real soon.
Everyone who meets her falls under the spell of her awesomeness! How could you not!

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We already love you very much Abigail; and we feel so blessed, that our amazing God choose us to be your family!!
 


Thursday, June 9, 2016

Today is to be a special day!

Why a special day?

Today, is the day Louise and I meet our daughter, for the very first time!!
These past weeks have been quite tuff for us; we've had highs and lows; concerns over resident VISA's, questions about all kinds of things. However, in these past few days everything has taken off!

Taken off from our social worker telling us all about a precious little child, to God waking me up in the middle of the night with her name!
All of this reaches its climax today; we're going to meet her; we're going to meet Abigail!
I need to pause! Still can't believe it’s all finally happening!

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So, yesterday afternoon, I was out and about purchasing nappies and baby formula! Essentials for my DAUGHTER!! The first of many such shopping trips, I'm sure! Have you ever stood at a supermarket checkout and felt proud to be buying nappies!! I wanted the world to notice me!!

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Now the fun begins - oh heck, I'm a complete novice! Thank you Lord for YouTube! Louise returned home last night to find me in class, learning some of the basics about taking care of a little person!
Don't laugh, I'm just starting down this road; I've never even changed a nappy in my life!

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And so the fun begins!

Monday, May 16, 2016

Home visit day...

Today is the day! The day for our home visit by the social worker!

Both Louise & I have been very busy getting our home JUst-right; it’s amazing how many black bags of, what is now rubbish, we’ve filled! (If you’ve not touched it in ten years, you can live without it!!). Looks like I’ve got a trip to the dump one day this week!

We haven’t only been getting our home ready for the SW; we’ve been getting it ready for our soon to be child! The room dedicated to our little one looks great already; actually the room, our home, and our garden look great! (If I was a child, I’d live here!)

As we wait, it’s amazing how at peace I feel! That’s not normal for me! I can certainly be a bit of a worrier when it comes to stuff like this! But not today; PEACE!

I’ll take this opportunity to thank everyone who have been praying for us, and sending us messages of support! It’s awesome to have you all in our lives – we both feel your excitement for us, at the prospect of us adopting a child.

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Our SW seems to be running quite a bit late (we just spoke to her on the phone – she got a bit lost in J’bay, shame man!!); but anyway, here she is - more later.

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Home visit all done.

It didn’t exactly go how we were expecting! We worked on our home thinking that she would inspect the whole place! That wasn’t to be! 

We all had a cuppa together, talked, laughed and that was about it! 

Actually she chatted with us for quite a long time really. I think she was trying to get a real sense of who we are; probably putting a face to what we said about ourselves on our application form. She asked Louise about her history, from being a child up to today (something Louise clearly struggled with; shame, her memory!!). Then it was my turn; questions about what I first saw in Louise; what jobs I’d done, my education and so on, (the education bit didn’t take long!!). After that she met our cats, had a look at the garden, and it was all over (probably, the garden sold it!!).

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Our SW isn’t the kind of lady that gives to much away, and we’ve been told that she won’t give hope that may cause people to get carried away with things. It’s right for her to be like that. The SW is happy with us, and now we want her to listen to God, and allow Him to direct her to the child that He plans for us to adopt.

And so, the visit has happed, and the waiting for our special arrival begins!

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Baby baby, where are you?

My first post in quite some time!

The problem with openly sharing our progress towards adoption, both face to face with people AND via a blog, is that when things don't seem to be moving, one kind of gets tired of saying it!!

Over the past months, it's felt like nothing has been happening. We did all of what we could with our application, the rest was about waiting for other people to do there bit; namely issue our police clearance and the dreaded FORM 30!
I'm very pleased to say, that all the paperwork involved for this part of the adoption is done, and has been submitted!

Along the wait, I've been excited to hear that my local barber has successfully adopted a child; he’s was a closed adoption, which is quite different to ours, (he knows the child's biological parents basically). Hearing his news, though exciting, left me feeling a little frustrated and asking, “well Lord, what about us!”

At one point in the wait, after the submission of our adoption profile, our social worker told us that things may happen towards the end of June and sometime before the end of 2016. Okay, so we can accept that, but really, we thought it would all happen quicker!!

All the way along the wait, I've been telling myself that “God’s timing is prefect”! I certainly agree with that, though waiting hasn't been easy!

Crazy thing is, the wait should have given me more time to get my head around the fact that God wants me to be a dad, a dad to an adopted child! 
I sit here today, writing this post and have to admit, that I've not really got my head around it yet! Not to say that I'm in any way having second thoughts! I guess it's just part of me being a work in progress!

Anyway, let me update you with the current state of affairs!! Drum roll please!! 
Our progress has brought us to the stage of the home visit. Our SW will be visiting us on Monday 16th May. We’ve been led to believe, from those whom we’ve spoken too, that things could happen quite quickly after this visit! EXCITEMENT DANCE!!

Are we ready; some may say probably not! By that I mean, we haven't got all the baby stuff in place! But we do know what we’re going to need to get us off the ground, so to speak! The plan really, is not to be to presumptuous and buy everything before we’ve formally been told the adoption is happening, and for me to hit the road moments before a baby arrives, and get everything! Thank you Lord for my bakkie!!
Is anyone really ready for the arrival of a baby, I have to ask!

Moving on!

I've just returned from one of my regular walks; while walking around I've been speaking to God about my baby. Has he or she been born yet, what's the baby going to be like? What kind of dad am I going to be!! Questions that God has shown me plenty of patience as I've asked Him! Don't worry, I've not only been hitting God with questions, I've been praying for my child, praying for the biological parents, and praying for the future (that I'll be a good dad and so on!).

Along the way I've been guarding my heart while we wait, but I have to say, I'm certainly getting excited now! I've been working hard to get myself fit (I want to be able to play with my child); I've been working on our home (making room for a little person); I've been working on the garden (trying to make sure it's safe, and all my spiky cacti are well out of the reach of little hands

Okay folks,I guess that's it for now; I'll share more after our home visit. Bye for now!

Sunday, November 29, 2015

First meeting with the social worker...

Our first face to face with our chosen social worker went really really well. 

Sadly, I was quite sick and probably looked like a zombie on steroids! But the meeting itself was great!

Our social worker is someone who has a clear God given call upon her life, to do the work she does. It was so refreshing for Louise & I to see her heart, and how committed she is to those she serves.

Some of the advice, and their was plenty of really helpful stuff, was to be careful with sharing names and identifying details on social media. This may sound a bit restrictive, but its a good safeguard to have in place. When a child is placed and legally adopted, their have been cases where members of the biological family have later tried to make inappropriate contact. This can cause a whole load of unnecessary heartache! And so, going forward, I will not be mentioning our social workers (SW) name, or anything else that could later open up any possible problems.

Back to the interview/meeting; our SW started by sharing all about herself and her commitment, first to the children, then to all parties involved. This was peppered with some really practical advice about when and how to share with your child, that she or he is adopted. Things were shared, that when applied, can make such a patently challenging step, almost natural, and very much part of the family journey. I won't detail it all now, because I’m sure that, as I continue to blog, I'll be talking about how this is all working out with our child to be!

After the initial sharing, Louise and I shared a bit about ourselves, in particular how we feel open to a child of any gender. It's strange, some days I think a boy would be nice, other days a girl! If we were going to be blessed with a biological child, we would prefer not to know the gender until the baby is born. We’re going into this adoption with the same mind; we’ll wait to see what God blesses us with!

After much chat, we all turned to more of the business side of things. Our SW told us about how things work for the biological parents of adoptive children, the, what was aptly named, “the cooling off period”! Basically, that means a baby can’t be adopted before 60 days after birth, 90 days in some case, if there are issues with contacting the biological father.
Listening to some of what the biological mom’s have to go through, particularly if they became pregnant through no fault or choice of their own, was hard going. Louise and I felt heart sore for such women. Adoption is often a real hope story, but there is also often a lot of pain involved.

The business side of things included a walk through of the application form, possible expenses, and so on. Again, all really helpful. 
There is a lot of work involved in the legal side of the adoption, much of which will be completed by our SW.
Our SW then spoke to us about preparing an “adoption profile book”. She showed us some examples from other parents of whom she has placed children with. This is something that biological parents can look at when they think about who, and what adoptive parents will be the best for their child's future. This book returns to the adoptive parents, and will be something that can later be added too, and then shared with the child in its future. 

Coming to the close of the interview/meeting, we made it known to our SW that we want to proceed; she will send out the necessary application form and other documentation that needs to be completed by us.
This, I have to say looks somewhat daunting, as it involves parties outside of Louise and myself; parties that aren't known for being quick at what they do! Enough said on that – just pray please, that every party will do their bit in good time! We know that God’s timing is perfect, and He will bring things about perfectly!

Returning home, both Louise and I felt complete peace about proceeding with our SW, and obviously, with going forward with adoption. We discussed what kind of age group best suits us, the age of the child that is. We agreed that birth to 1 year old would be right.
Don’t laugh, but we’ve even started talking baby names!!

I'll post more, if I remember other details, and if not; when I have more news!

Thanks for following us on our journey!

Friday, November 27, 2015

Poor timing

Today we have our first interview with the social worker. But from lunchtime yesterday (Thursday), I've been coming down with a pretty nasty bout of flu!
Not the best timing to say the least!
I'm dosing myself up with med's, and we're still going through!
Will post updates later, hopefully!