First meeting with the social worker...

Our first face to face with our chosen social worker went really really well. 

Sadly, I was quite sick and probably looked like a zombie on steroids! But the meeting itself was great!

Our social worker is someone who has a clear God given call upon her life, to do the work she does. It was so refreshing for Louise & I to see her heart, and how committed she is to those she serves.

Some of the advice, and their was plenty of really helpful stuff, was to be careful with sharing names and identifying details on social media. This may sound a bit restrictive, but its a good safeguard to have in place. When a child is placed and legally adopted, their have been cases where members of the biological family have later tried to make inappropriate contact. This can cause a whole load of unnecessary heartache! And so, going forward, I will not be mentioning our social workers (SW) name, or anything else that could later open up any possible problems.

Back to the interview/meeting; our SW started by sharing all about herself and her commitment, first to the children, then to all parties involved. This was peppered with some really practical advice about when and how to share with your child, that she or he is adopted. Things were shared, that when applied, can make such a patently challenging step, almost natural, and very much part of the family journey. I won't detail it all now, because I’m sure that, as I continue to blog, I'll be talking about how this is all working out with our child to be!

After the initial sharing, Louise and I shared a bit about ourselves, in particular how we feel open to a child of any gender. It's strange, some days I think a boy would be nice, other days a girl! If we were going to be blessed with a biological child, we would prefer not to know the gender until the baby is born. We’re going into this adoption with the same mind; we’ll wait to see what God blesses us with!

After much chat, we all turned to more of the business side of things. Our SW told us about how things work for the biological parents of adoptive children, the, what was aptly named, “the cooling off period”! Basically, that means a baby can’t be adopted before 60 days after birth, 90 days in some case, if there are issues with contacting the biological father.

Listening to some of what the biological mom’s have to go through, particularly if they became pregnant through no fault or choice of their own, was hard going. Louise and I felt heart sore for such women. Adoption is often a real hope story, but there is also often a lot of pain involved.

The business side of things included a walk through of the application form, possible expenses, and so on. Again, all really helpful. 

There is a lot of work involved in the legal side of the adoption, much of which will be completed by our SW.

Our SW then spoke to us about preparing an “adoption profile book”. She showed us some examples from other parents of whom she has placed children with. This is something that biological parents can look at when they think about who, and what adoptive parents will be the best for their child's future. This book returns to the adoptive parents, and will be something that can later be added too, and then shared with the child in its future. 

Coming to the close of the interview/meeting, we made it known to our SW that we want to proceed; she will send out the necessary application form and other documentation that needs to be completed by us.

This, I have to say looks somewhat daunting, as it involves parties outside of Louise and myself; parties that aren't known for being quick at what they do! Enough said on that – just pray please, that every party will do their bit in good time! We know that God’s timing is perfect, and He will bring things about perfectly!

Returning home, both Louise and I felt complete peace about proceeding with our SW, and obviously, with going forward with adoption. We discussed what kind of age group best suits us, the age of the child that is. We agreed that birth to 1 year old would be right.

Don’t laugh, but we’ve even started talking baby names!!

I'll post more, if I remember other details, and if not; when I have more news!

Thanks for following us on our journey!

Poor timing

Today we have our first interview with the social worker. But from lunchtime yesterday (Thursday), I've been coming down with a pretty nasty bout of flu!

Not the best timing to say the least!

I'm dosing myself up with med's, and we're still going through!

Will post updates later, hopefully!

Meeting the social worker for the first time...

So, this morning Louise finally managed to speak to our social worker, over the phone; we've both tried, but clearly she is crazy busy.

We have our first appointment booked for the 27th of November, at 11am. Apparently this meeting can last for something like three hours!

Obviously, this is going to be like some kind of adoption assessment interview, maybe the first of many!

Keep us in your prayers please. 

I'll post more information as and when I have it.

😎👍

Where do we take our frustrations?

I'm reading through some of the stories that make up the Old Testament. At present, those stories are about God's people in the dessert; they've just come out of Egypt and are travelling to worship God and in time, make it to the Promised Land!

Very familiar stories to many of us, I'm sure! But something stood out afresh for me today:

"What do we do with our frustrations"?

Let me set the scene; God did some pretty massive things in Egypt that not only rocked the Egyptians world, but would have left Israel, God's people, with no doubt as to who is running the show; the God of Israel is Sovereign, and is the one true God!

Take a look at this from their travels:

“The Israelites left the western Sinai desert. They traveled all together from place to place as the Lord commanded. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink. So they turned against Moses and started arguing with him. They said, “Give us water to drink.” Moses said to them, “Why have you turned against me? Why are you testing the Lord?” But the people were very thirsty, so they continued complaining to Moses. They said, “Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Did you bring us out here so that we, our children, and our cattle will all die without water?” So Moses cried to the Lord, “What can I do with these people? They are ready to kill me.” The Lord said to Moses, “Go before the Israelites. Take some of the elders of the people with you. Carry your walking stick with you. This is the stick that you used when you hit the Nile River. I will stand before you on a rock at Horeb. Hit that rock with the walking stick and water will come out of it. Then the people can drink.” Moses did these things and the elders of Israel saw it. Moses named that place Meribah and Massah, because this was the place that the Israelites turned against him and tested the Lord. The people wanted to know if the Lord was with them or not.”

Exodus 17:1-7 ERV

Firstly; who brought these people out of Egypt? Moses – or was it God? 

Moses was a mighty dude, but come on!

Secondly; God’s people had a real good reason to complain – they we’re in a dessert and were dying of first, (dying might be a bit extreme! We don't actually read that).

The point that really stood out for me was what they did with their legitimate complaint!

They got in the face of Moses, a mere man! What could he do to answer their complaint?

Moses did what God’s people should have done all along – he went to God. The GOD OF ISRAEL! 

Moses didn't have sole rights over the ability to speak to God; any of God’s people could have gone to Him in prayer. Remember, while Israel was in Egypt, God heard them when they cried out in pain over how they were being miss treated!

I wonder whether God had held back water to see what His people would do! To see if they would turn to Him.

Seeing it laid out like this, it seems silly that Israel didn't go directly to God themselves; but actually, I do the same thing they did, pretty much everyday!

I go to man with life's issues!

I voice by frustrations to people; people like my wife etc!

I get the stuff of my chest so to speak. But man can't answer many of life's frustrations (even Louise can't!). The truth is, God can – He has answers that will often blow our minds!

--

Okay, I've made my point. Let me finish with this:

“With God’s power working in us, he can do much, much more than anything we can ask or think of. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen.”

Ephesians 3:20-21 ERV

Take it all to God in prayer, then get ready for the answer!

First contact made...

This morning I contacted the social worker who was recommended to us, with regard to adoption. A very nice lady based in Port Elizabeth.  

The phone call was, as the title to this post indicates, first contact. It was like having a very informal interview over the phone. The social worker asked about Louise and myself; she asked searching questions about how long we've been married, whether we were looking for a child from a particular culture, stuff like that. So, even at this early stage, we're being assessed. I kind of expected it to be this way; to enter into adoption we need to be properly screened. A child's welfare is at stake (and ours I guess!). 

After the questions came a whole load of information about the 3 stages towards adoption. In a nutshell they are:  

1. Screening 

2. Placement of a child 

3. Legal side of the adoption  

Each stage comes with quite a cost. When I was hearing all the figures being spoken off, it felt a bit weird, almost like "this is how much it's going to cost for a child"! It felt weird at first, but on reflection, it was a conversation that I was grateful to have. All the costs involved, and they are quite considerable; all the costs are literally the cost of the service that is being provided and the court/legal costs. Louise and I know that their will be a financial outlay involved in this process, but we also know that God is calling us to adopt, and He will provide all we need. 

So, all in all, this first contact, this phone call to the social worker, was good. It's now for Louise and I to discuss this first stage, consider the way forward; and when we are ready, we will need to make an appointment for our first, more formal get together with the social worker. 

Knowing where Louise and I are in our thinking, I probably could have asked for a date today! But let's not rush things, reflection time is important.  

Updates on our progress will follow, so please check my blog from time to time, and you'll know all that is happening!

Return of the Jedi KNIGHT!!

Well, it has been quite some time since I last wrote to my blog, but I'm back and with a whole new topic to share!

For those of you who know Louise and myself, you'll be aware that we have felt God's call upon our lives to enter into the process of becoming adoptive parents.

The idea of adoption has sat with me for quite some time now, but of late God has spoken to us both on the idea, and now we are actively pursuing adoption.

Correctly, there are a lot of bridges that we will have to cross as we go through the necessary screening process. This starts tomorrow (Tuesday 10th), with a phone call to a social worker who has  been recommended to us.

Many of you will be interested in how things are going along our journey; I hope you will visit this blog, where I intend to post updates as they happen.

Please pray for Louise and I, the process is very in-depth, but will be well worth it in the end!